May 27, 2018

Girl Bye! Handling and Cutting off subtly toxic people


If I cut you off, chances are, you handed me the scissors.

Greeting Monday with a bold statement is such a badass, don’t you think? Hello girls I’m back! This subject has been in my drafts for some time now and since it’s my comeback(ish) article, I decided to give it a go. By nature, I’m a fixer I would probably think or bang my head a thousand times, before deciding which unfortunately sometimes lead me to a more miserable situation. My fashion advice: Less is more, which we could all probably use in terms of keeping (or not!) relationships with people. If it does not directly hurt you and the person is “not bad enough”, does it justify cutting ties? Answer, YES, it’s called self-care ladies (or DETOX?) In order to stay positive, we don’t want drama. So if you are in a situation where in you have doubts whether to pull the plug on someone or just eliminate them, here are my take on how to handle this type of situation, its easier when done the right way.

IG: wlyder11 
a. Talk - I know for some of you it’s dreadful, not all of us are confrontational. But you have to be an adult and say why you suddenly want that space or distance. Do you have that situation where on you need to rehash it with a friend to be able to feel ok again? This is the same case ladies, being able to talk or discuss it to that toxic person, weather she may like it or not is the proper thing to do. It is the other person’s problem if she does not believe or like your reasons, this way you can move forward in peace.  


b. Don’t Argue - no one likes to be cut out so there is a high possibility of anger, if the discussion gets heaty, remember you are not there to explain but to restate your boundaries. Don’t feed into it or allow it. Respecting boundaries comes naturally to well-adjusted adults, unlike toxic people which thrive on violating them. Just state your reason, you don’t need to answer why, how or give additional details.


c. Create distance - there are people who are not really toxic but would just be a “drag”.  I have a friend who would constantly declines offers in order to avoid any interactions with a specific person, and would ask me if doing so is bad. Well, I just have to give her this blog link later, I’m sure she’ll benefit from this in the future. Totally fine if you would rather spent time with other friends who are positive and contributes to you’re feeling good.

d. Not do anything at all - probably easiest among all, just remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Slowly ghost out of their lives until you are no longer affected by their negativity.
IG: wlyder11
Ladies life is too short to be anything but happy, surround yourself with people who make you laugh and focus solely on the good. 


xoxo,
Clyde

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